HERE WE
GO AGAIN
Well the "season..." as they say "....is upon us" and I am
sitting here trying to think of something clever and witty to write about.
Something which hasn't already been written by thousands of other writers all
waxing poetic on the holiday theme.
I would like to be able to offer some comfort for those of us out here who find
the holidays a burden. Lets face it, the last few weeks of the year can be
enormously stressful. Some of us don't have families to spend this time with,
some of us have families that we would prefer not spending time with, and some
of us don't have time to spend with our families.
On top of that, (as if we need any more stress in our lives) we have to buy
gifts for the multitudes of people we know and like, or know and don't like as
the case may be. Then there's always the chore of picking out a Christmas tree.
When we get back to the house, we discover, to our amazement, that the tree has
blown right off the roof of our car.
Okay, now that we are throughly humilated, we have to go back and pick out yet
another tree. This time though we're a little smarter and secure the tree to the
roof of the car with load locks, straps, bungee cords, duct tape and a tarp.
Once we wrestle the tree, (which must have continued growing while we drove down
the road) into the house, (which must have shrunk in our absence) we still have
to decide how we are going to decorate it.
Did I forget to mention the eight hundred sixty-four Christmas cards you still
have to send out? Did you know that most people dread the holidays? Is it any
wonder?
I once made the mistake of going to the mall in the Washington DC area to do
some Christmas shopping. I parked the rig on the back forty at about eight
o'clock in the morning as far away from the building as I could get. When I
walked away from the truck , the parking lot was virtually empty. Not so when I
came back out. My tractor trailer was completely surrounded by cars. I could not
have moved two feet in either direction even if I wanted to. I ended up staying
there until the mall closed and missed my delivery appointment by an entire day.
Needless to say, I will never do that again.
I know you have driven past malls filled to overflowing with holiday shoppers
and have a pretty good notion of what I am talking about. The holidays actually
change some peoples whole attitude about life. Normally calm and serene, they
now become belligerent and argumentative. It's really too bad no one has found a
way to package patience. They could stock it on the store shelves and run
specials on it every now and then, especially during the holidays. Of course, if
they did package patience, you can bet the receiver would probably want it right
now as opposed to the next day and so we would have defeated the entire purpose
of placing an order for patience in the first place.
All kidding aside, for some of us, when it comes to family gatherings, the terms
'harmony' and 'holidays' don't even belong in the same sentence together. During
the holidays, when spending time with your family, you are expected to put aside
your feelings of bitterness and anger, at least for a few hours. You are asked
to swallow your pride in order to make another member of the family happy. This
is usually the peace keeper who just wants everyone to get along with everyone
else.
Every year it is the same old story over and over again and you feel trapped by
obligation. You are expected to smile and act as though you are not hurt by past
rejection or disappointment. You go to the parties and reunions and find
yourself dealing with feelings of frustration and disillusionment over a past
you simply cannot let go.
Perhaps for whatever reason, you are now alone, having lost your family due to a
divorce. Maybe, you are grieving for loved ones who are no longer here among us.
This will be a very difficult time for you, especially since the holidays are
family oriented occasions. Everywhere you go and everything you see puts
particular emphasis on getting together with friends and family. The last thing
you need, is seeing everyone around you getting excited over the holidays. When
their joy bubbles over, it can make you feel even lonelier.
If I have just described your situation in painful detail, I would like to offer
my heart felt sympathy to you. I hope (and I really mean this) that you can find
some measure of peace in the deepest recesses of your heart. I know what raw
pain is and I also know how unbearable it is at times to have to smile in spite
of that pain and pretend that all is well.
Perhaps you are alone and don't have any plans to spend the holiday with others.
If this is the case, you are in the unique position to do something very special
for someone else.
You can go to a local church or a shelter and ask a staff member to
provide you with the name of someone who is having a difficult time financially.
Buy a little something for them, maybe something they would never think of
getting for themselves. It doesn't have to be expensive or it could be something
they really need. Pay someone else's electric bill or put fifty gallons of
propane into someone else's tank. Offer to buy someone in need a weeks worth of
groceries. Again, it doesn't have to be much. It could simply be a gesture of
understanding and empathy.
Several years ago while I was still living in Vermont, I invited three people
from the homeless shelter over to my apartment for a huge meal with all the
trimmings. We sat around all day watching rented movies and had a great
time. They got out of the shelter for the day and had the precious opportunity
of someone treating them with dignity and respect. What I got out of it was
worth so much more than I put into it.
I'm not saying you have to invite perfect strangers into your home for the day.
But you can do something to make the holidays special for someone else.
Sometimes, our problems seem a little smaller, when we focus on the struggles of
others. I don't mean to suggest that your pain is insignificant. All I'm saying
is that sometimes, we need to put things in their proper perspective.
Bear with me for a moment while I address the other half of the population out
here.
There are a lot of you who are reading this article to whom the first part does
not apply. You have loved ones who simply cannot wait for you to get home. You
will be spending the holidays with family and friends and look forward with
great anticipation to seeing the children or grandchildren open presents and
posing for ten thousand pictures. To you, the holidays are very, very special
and I offer my congratulations. You are truly blessed beyond words, but you
don't really need me to tell you that.
There are even some of you who don't have kids, but still look forward to the
holidays with cheerful enthusiasm. For you the season is a blessing, not a curse
and you get more enjoyment out of it than any child ever could. I envy you.
If you are one of the drivers who for whatever reason ends up spending your
Christmas eve in a truck stop, take heart in knowing that I appreciate the work
you do. If it wasn't for you, indeed, if it wasn't for us all, Christmas (or
Chanukah or Kwanza) wouldn't be very festive, would it? Of course, I don't know
very many people outside the industry, that actually gives a fig where the gifts
come from so long as their on the shelves when it's time to go shopping. The
malls are packed with people who would rather give a chubby little dude in a red
suit all the credit for supplying them with everything on their little wish
lists. But we in the industry know better, don't we?
As far as the actual gift giving is concerned, I like getting original with my
gifts. I once made my sister in law extremely happy with five dollars worth of
quarters. I took ten small ziplock bags and put two quarters into each of them
and hid them all over the house. Each baggie contained a clue where she might
find the next set. That next set would led her onto a another and so on and so
forth. I turned her Christmas present into her very own personalized scavenger
hunt and she had a blast. By the way she was thirty years old at the time.
Every year I buy my father in law a case of filters for our water filtration
system. That along with some Planters peanuts, and he's a happy guy.
In all honesty, and some of you will no doubt call me a 'most unimaginative
person', but every year, I get my husband a gift certificate, so he can go get
whatever he wants. I may be wrong about this, but getting someone a gift card,
doesn't mean you didn't care enough to pick out something special just for them.
A gift card is very special, because the recipient, can get exactly what they
wanted and in the right size, color or style they need it in.
And by the way, I do have an imagination, thank you very much. I imagine my
husband would know better than anyone, what he wants for Christmas.
With Christmas little more than a week away, we need to start becoming aware of
driving in and around the cities where the malls and shopping centers are
located. It's a given that most of the four wheelers are going to be somewhat
preoccupied. They may not be paying attention to what they are sharing the road
with and this is unfortunate.
Please give these motorists the benefit of the doubt when you come across them.
The greatest Christmas gift they may ever receive this year is the chance to
live and shop another day.
I wish you all a safe, wonderful and happy holiday season because more than
anyone else, I think you deserve it.
Julie Fricker.
-
Home Back to Top
|
