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Placing It On The Altar There are things in my life which have the potential to take precedence over the things of God. My fiancé is one of those things. Among others are my novel, my finances and my dreams for the future. It is all to easy to get caught up in the stacking of these things by order of their importance in my heart. But do I value these things above my relationship with the Lord? Is He the one which rules my heart? Or has He slipped a notch or two over the years, replaced by my career or my want of a family? I am blessed for the time being in that I serve the Lord with a single heart. But could I say that driving a tractor trailer has become the most important desire in my life? Does my freedom mean more to me than the things of God? Do I ever worry about things? Yes I do. This is difficult to admit but sometimes, I worry about these things even when I should be in communion with the Lord instead. Then there is the memory of my children. However I have since learned to commit these things to the Lord. But there was a time where I harbored a special place for them in my heart. It was a tiny corner of my heart where I have stashed them but there they were. A few years ago, my sister and I rented a storage facility together though I can't remember ever actually giving her any money for it. Yet and still she let me keep my few meager possessions in it. A couple of boxes were all I could boast of owning, but there they sat patiently waiting for me to settle down. One box in particular held the cherished memento's of the two children I had relinquished for adoption. Legal papers, picture, copies of letters I had written to each of them etc. This was far more important to me than even I was willing to admit. The memories harbored in my heart were so strong only because there was nothing else in my life to take it's place. Until that is the Lord reminded me that He alone wanted to rule my heart and mind. One day I called my sister and received the shocking news that a tornado had struck the storage facility and everything was in a shambles. Now if the storage facility had been in Texas or Oklahoma, I would have understood. But this was Eastern Pennsylvania we were talking about. Tornados never struck that part of the country. Now they do, but a few years ago, this was a freak occurrence. She said the place was destroyed, and when the authorities cleared the place we could go and see if anything was left. I was on the road and unable to get home so I had to rely on her and her husband to take care of this in my place.
In my mind, I saw myself standing before a great altar holding an empty basket. I set the basket on the ground and put everything which I held dear, into it. The photo albums went in first, followed by the letters I had written to my children, then the adoption papers. On top of this I laid the blanket which I had crocheted for each of them and lastly placed both Lindsey and Patrick's future in the basket as well. I would worry about this no more. I lifted the basket and set it up on the altar and stood there for a few minutes before I turned and left this room. I stayed on my knees for a long time mentally committing all of this to the Lord then got up, jumped into the drivers seat, put the truck in gear and pulled out of the parking lot. Twenty miles down the road and I started crying again. I was emotionally pulling stuff I had relinquished to him out of the basket and placing it once again inside my heart. I stopped the truck on a ramp and went back into the sleeper and hit my knees once more turning to the Lord for strength. This happened several times over the next three days, but always I went straight to the Lord and gave back to Him what He desired of me. My whole heart. I wanted to trust Him because He alone is worthy of that trust. I wanted to have faith in Him because even when I am not being faithful, He is. I wanted my things back, but chose the Lord over them. I called Karen a few days later and what she told me filled my heart with joy. She said there were only three lockers which hadn't been destroyed and ours was one of them. She said amazingly enough, even the padlock was still on the door. When I told her that the Lord answers the prayers of His people, she asked me to explain why the other two lockers remained unscathed. Without hesitation I suggested, "Perhaps they too treasure the Lord above all else." I trusted in His perfect will. He in turn repaid my trust with mercy and faithfulness. All I need do is be willing to give everything over to His care.
Written by Julie Ann Fricker |
